I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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