I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
