i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
