Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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