dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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