Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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