i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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