i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
