Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
