On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
