remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
