Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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