There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
