I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
