Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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