Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
