Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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