hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
