They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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