shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
