you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
