oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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