Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize