Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
