Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
