i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize