I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
True college students do jello shots in the library
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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