So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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