I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize