I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
