i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
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