Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
