My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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