Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
