Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
