Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
