You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
