Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
