we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
