Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
