an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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