Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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