He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
