Slut skills are useful in every country.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
