I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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