WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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