I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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