In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
