remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Send help, water and tortillas.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize