I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
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He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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