Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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