people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I had to cum in my sink.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
