Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we're making bets on your personal life
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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