i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
