I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
