im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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