whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
