seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
