Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize