yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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