Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize