I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I wish I only lived at night.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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