Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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