lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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