i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
