no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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