my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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